Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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