I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
