The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
