So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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