Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Rumble strips road head = magical
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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