i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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