the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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