Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
