i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
