Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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