I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
