I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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