normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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