it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
