I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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