Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
