Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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