and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just high enough for therapy.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
