The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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