I think I am morally bankrupt
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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