Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
