Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
