ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
