I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
