I cockslap morals
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
