make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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