4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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