well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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