I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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