I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
