This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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