anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
