the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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