you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
