READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize