i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize