I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
