If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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