By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
