This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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