So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize