If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
