It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize