the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
