Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
