it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
