no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize