I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize