Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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