she was so not down for the gang bang
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
