Your dad touched me again.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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