I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
did i just pee glitter
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize