Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
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