Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
