I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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