If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize