There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i believe in u and ur pee
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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