i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
