ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Bring me that man meat
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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