i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I CAN MOONWALK!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
