how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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