haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
